Events that Portend Conspiracism*

A young woman with a promise of becoming a very effective legislator suddenly dies under murky circumstances. Then the state actors, in what might have been age-old turf wars and ego trips, orchestrate a cavalier blocking of a parallel forensic investigations by other interested parties.

Ms Cerinah Nebanda, MP for Butaleja District died suddenly last Friday in the prime of her life.( MP Cerinah Nebanda is Dead). This is a big deal, and an event of great national import of historical proportion. The country's history is littered with sudden deaths of who-is-who of remarkable Ugandans. The circumstances and the causes of many of such deaths have been kept hush-hush from the public. And there have been whispers, and to nip any doubts seemed to have been the primary motivation for the parallel forensic tests.

By now this government should have wised up. When the government tap dances and threatens jail time for any speculative talks, it is making it worse for itself. It begs the question, and legitimately so: what is it hiding? Times are achanging, and such an event, if not handled well, could conspire with other events to trigger chain reactions. 

*Conspiracism is a word coined by Loren Collins in Bullspotting, Finding Facts in the Age of Misinformation. 
It implies the tendency for conspiracy theories.

The Real Impetus Behind the OPM Massive Thefts

Okadon Akwap, a failed journalist,  is a dubious lecturer in a dubious University belonging to one Hassan Hasajjabalaba, one of the scions of the Museveni economy who pockected government funds in the billions in dubious circumstances. Mr. Akwap came up with a fallacious and specious argument that the OPM thieves were somehow mental cases--a consequence of traumatic experiences in the volatile Uganda--and, by deduction, should not be responsible for their misdeeds. (Graft: Causes Could Be Beyond Greed). One wonders wether Mr. Akwap gained this knowledge from personal experience because for those of us who know him know that at one time he borrowed some money and, when asked, he instead challenged the creditor to a physical fight--a fact that borders on the insane side of the mental spectrum.

On the face of the reportings in the news media, one is stunned by the lack of accounting controls in the management of the Peace Recovery and Development Plan for Northern Uganda (PRDP) Funds. For example, what in the world would make a credible organization deposit huge sums of money in the personal accounts of its officials to carry out the organization duties? It is because of the understanding of human nature that is why accounting best practices require separation of duties and approval processes that may require signing off by the top honcho. All these were seemingly lacking and allowed for easy massive thefts because there were no checks and balances that could have flagged any improprieties early on. This is not surprising because that is the culture of this government whose president, in his one-man running of the country, views checks and balances as a handicap. So, when he talks of his NRM cadres detecting and carrying out forensic audits (after the fact), he is testifying to incompetence and a sign that his government is over its head in managing the country. The President may have had revoultionary successes, but it is time to let go and let dedicated and competent managers take over.

Overall, there is a sense that there was an undercurrent of insidous and obnoxious tribalism at play. The physical and mental traumas and broken public facilities in the North that needed rehabilitation were and are real. There is no contest about that--even the skeptic Kalyegire of the Aminism Denial fame will agree! The PRDP Funds were meant to address that in part. But did the managers of these funds appreciate and were they committed to the mission? It seemed not. What they did with the funds give credence to the notion that the sense of the dehumanized Northerners still lingered--a carryover from the days when the president uttered publicly: We massacred them! Just as the president and his ilks could call Northerners "biological substances," it is not far-fetched to think that those who had their hands in the windfall largesse from donors (aka development partners as if this would cleanse the money from beggarhood) had similar mindset and no sense of responsibility because they inoculated themselves from guilt. After all, the supposed beneficiaries were nonhuman. 

The European donors could take a cue from the US in matters of bleeding-heart aid: Give the funds to NGOs, such  as World Vision, which have verifiable track record of service delivery for clearly identified projects with inputs from the locals. 

A Recipe for Cooking the Cock

In the East a birth year is a big deal because it is alleged to have archetypal relationship to animal beasts. It is believed that a person takes on the characteristics of the beast-year of birth. Thus from the knowledge of a person's birth year, one can gauge the person's predispositions. It was then not surprising that the Ninjas of medieval Japan, who were adept at stealth and surprise, exploited such a knowledge to  their advantage. For example, a person born in the year of the Ox  is prone to be a complainer. So, the Ninja would probably feign sympathy with the bitching, gain confidence and the poor fellow would not know what hit him.

This brings us to our favorite subject, the dictator of the Republic of Adnagu who demonstrates all the characteristics of the Cock. Those who have eyes have seen, those who have ears have heard and those who have sense have long known that, throughout his more than two decades of reign, the man is very predictable. He is very combative, eccentric, selfish and likes public adulation. Yet he also seems very insecure and needy of constant humoring. Further, as a perfectionist he does not admit to being wrong. So, if the opposition is to make any headway in wresting power from the man, it needs to employee some Ninja tactics. A test case Ninja tactic against the dictator was recently employed by the wily Obibi across the pond to the west. 

First, the Obibi orchestrated a leak that the Cock was involved in assisting a mutiny in the Forestland. As expected, the Cock became unhinged. He threatened pulling his troops away from propping up a failed state. He dispensed (at taxpayers' expense) an emissary to Obibiland to register his displeasure. Soon Obibi's representative in town showered the Cock with praises and declared that the Cock was the right person to bring peace to Forestland. The Cock grabbed the bait. Checkmate! 

Whatever the outcome, Obibi will achieve its objective. If the Cock brings lasting peace to Forestland, one nagging problem in this part of the world will have been solved. If he fails, be sure the push of accusation for alleged assistance to the mutineers will continue to hang over the Cock like the sword of Damocles. 

  

Of God, Guns, Gays, No-New Taxes and Millions of Dough

My friends turned Gothic in spite of their supposed education. Numbers didn't mean diddly, let alone the fact that their academic research efforts were anchored on numbers--that is, statistics. And so, no matter what one told them their candidate was a non-starter and it was better to use someone more likely to put up a credible challenge to the Ogre of Uganda, they circled the wagon of emotional stupidity.

Fast forward to the US elections of 2012 and the difference would be the same with the pitiful Karl Rove , the Republican King-Maker. Rove of the Republican-leaning Fox News became apoplectic when the station projected Obama as the winner of Ohio state, hence the presidential race.The 300-million dollars seat of power could not let go, not unlike my "educated" Uganda buddies. All some of  us would do was chuckle and say: look, daddy, my little contribution, leveraged with others trounced your more than a quarter-billion juggernaut--dig?. Appealing to the "godly" evangelicals didn't help you either.Harping against gun control did not do the trick. The gays won in four states, and that says a lot. No-new-taxes sounded hollow as a credible fiscal and economic policy. 

In the end, liberalism triumphed: we are in this together and let us be supportive of one another when we are here--after all, we are not going to get out of here alive!

Much Ado About Nothing: The Gay Hullabaloo

Uganda media crackled with emotional excitement:  Kadaga, Canadian Minister in Gay Row ;  Kadaga Gets Kudos for Defending Country. While many hailed the Madam Speaker of the Uganda Parliament, I have a contrarian opinion that her hysterical defense of Uganda government's stance on gay rights was a waste of energy. The lady was probably venting her frustration for having been undermined back home by her president who pushed approval of a rejected minister through a quisling of a deputy speaker suffering from a bout of the Stockholm Syndrome.


Gay issues, judged from the hundreds of online comments, get the juices of Ugandans boiling. You could probably get only about thirty or so comments on Dr. Besigye being hauled to a dingy dirty little police cell. Amazing priority, if you ask me.

My first encounter with the reality of gayness was with a girlfriend at school. As soon as a particular student nun walked in, my then girlfriend would light up. She finally revealed to me that she was in fact gay. At first I was taken aback but came around to live with it. It was not a statement of failing to satisfy her.  I am quite a stud and gave the goods to high praises from her! I would even lend her my car so that she could go visit the nun at her convent. Unfortunately for my friend, the nun threw cold water over her overture.

To say that gayness is unAfrican is a false premise and a statistical mambo jumbo.  And it is a travesty to see Ms Kadaga attempting shamelessly to ride on the wave of her  supposed heroism: Speaker Kadaga Promises to Revive Shelved Gay Bill  That is what her boss wants her  to be fighting for innocuous  peripheral  issues rather than putting his balls on fire in the  substantive erosion of the legislative powers by the executive.

There are gay people among Africans just as there are brilliant and upright people as well as  imbeciles, murderers, child-molesters, dictators and what have you. Africa cannot be the exception to gayness just as Africa cannot be the exception for economic and human progress. That African gays are coming out of the closet is a testament to their ability to put a name to what they had been feeling all along.

There are more serious issues that face Uganda. Clamping down on the sexual natures of some members of Uganda society is a diversion. Real men and women should tackle the distortions caused by the one-man rule.

It is More Than Just About Investors and Consumers

A tell-tale dark clouds hanged over the venue for the national fête to the 50 years of "freedom" from our colonial masters as the chief cheerleader pronounced his ambtious plan to catapult the nation to a first-world state.  Key to this latest farce, per The Monitor, is yet another of Museveni's New 10-Point Plan. And the impetus behind all this is "the sovereign" power of "the investor" and "the consumer," so says the master tactician. Whatever happened to the last one as he emerged from the bush? The wonks have often called him to task on the original ten. But the man on-the-move has often answered with more vacuous gimmicks after gimmicks because they sell. The population likes such simplistic one-liners as " Let them get rich," coupled with strategic brown envelops.


Of course, the naked policy of "..sovereign players" as being "..the investor and the consumer" is code for the wild-wild winners-take-all free enterprise. Certainly free enterprise is a good thing, but the so-called investors have to be taken with a jaundice eye. Left alone to run wild, they will soon undermine the "sovereignty" of the consumers. If the wild-wild west prescription were the sine qua non of a free, just and prosperous nation, some western countries would not be having hangovers from the investor-consumer sovereignty orgies of the last two decades. The Spaniards are lining for soup kitchen. The Greeks are.., ah, well, you know the story.

Many Ugandans believe that we were created by a God in the form and faculties that we have today. Evolution tells us something else. Part of our human awareness is said to have evolved over thousands, if not millions of years. The higher brain, the locus of self-awareness that we have, likely came about because of the need to associate and build community in the caves to the present day. The results of alienation and dysfunctional societies are testimonies to what can become in the failure to adhere to the laws of association and community.            
The swashbuckling lone-wolf essence of the "sovereign investor," therefore, runs contrary to our evolutionary survival imperatives. While we tout the progress made in the last twenty five years with the sovereign investor as the captain, we must not forget the gaps in infrastructure, service deliveries and the millions who are burdened by lack of means to satisfy basic needs. A responsible government would fill these gaping gaps in  a balanced way, while concurrently cultivating a culture of fairness and justice for all. Such a government would lead the way to discourage crass consumerism, a consequence of the "sovereign consumer" run amok
.
In the end, it is about community, and unrestrained dance of the sovereign investor and the consumer will not take us home.

Is the God Business Any Help?

This is not an attempt to rain on the parade of those who think the 50th anniversary of  Uganda's Independence is of significance.  But please don't pull  wool over people's eyes by playing the God card. First, there was the grandiose overstatement of Uganda-is-God-s-Nation , courtesy of New Vision. Then in the same paper there was a report of Museveni-Dedicates-Uganda-to-God  even as his goons were armed to the teeth around the home of his nemesis, Dr. Besigye, in a cynical attempt to prevent him from practicing his God-given right.

Dr. Besigye in Police Cell

       Photo By Handout . / Reuters/Reuters                                 

Let us take a bird's eye-view of Uganda's history to determine  if she is indeed God's nation. At the close of the nineteen century a manic King roasted little boys to death. Was he punished for it? No. If you want the genesis of impunity and lack of accountability in leaders, look no further. Now, with fanfares we celebrate the boys as martyrs and no mention is ever made of the heinous crime of that dictator of the fledgling soon-to-be Uganda nation.

Leapfrog to the sixties to the advent of what was to become independence from Britain. You see the same ungodly intrigues play out. In the elections for Independence the whole of Buganda was disenfranchised because of the selfish acts of a cabal of a faction of God's in fear of another who might water down its power. The same religiosity of the previous century was playing itself out again. It had nothing to do with God, but with privilege. The cabal miscalculated it was better off joining hands with a despised Northerner rather than let its people have a choice at the polls, the outcome of which it might not control. This was to be the beginning of the witch's elixir that continues to poison this nation: The Kingdom partner was not getting what it wanted and created a crisis. The Northerner partner responded harshly and the King escaped for dear life that was to end far from the glitterati of pomp-and-circumstances of his birthright. Northerners soon became synonymous with cruel animals as the Northerner ex-partner over-reached himself and was soon displaced by another Northerner of dubious sanity. You could probably hear laughter of glee as the insane Northerner butchered fellow northerners who were credited with causing "pain" to the Kingdom. Did I hear the insane Northerner soon turned his venom on just about anybody regardless of region of origin?

In the witch's brew anything can emerge. The President-for-Life soon overplayed his luck and was deposed. You would think that the people's prayer was heard and things might turn the corner for the suffering nation. After playing with unimaginative characters at the wheel, the ignominious Northerner ex-partner made a come-back which was not to last for long. An ambitious and cunning man sized up the situation and went to the bush to wage a war of attrition. Soon the ex-partner was chased out by a tribal faction of his own coalition. No sooner had the clueless tribal faction warmed the seat of power than the cunning man outmaneuvered and chased them out of town. Liberation!

The cunning man has had a good run for himself and his cronies. Many came from nothing to unimaginable wealth. Now, he really needs to pray. But the population need not be numbed into sleep in the hope of a God who has had mixed results with the fate of the nation. The only thing that matters is action. If you don't act, you don't get other than by statistical chance,  however much you pray. God helps those who help themselves.

http://www.newvision.co.ug/news/636196-Uganda-is-God-s-Nation.html
http://www.newvision.co.ug/news/636210-Museveni-Dedicates-Uganda-to-God.html

I Am Dreaming of a White President, a Parody

Innocence of Muslims Dissected

Innocence of Muslims Dissected

For those of us who are non-believers, all the craziness would be laughable if lives were not at stake. We ask ourselves why people would burden themselves with anger and kill other innocent people for a God not seen, who exists only in imagination, and is so oppressive that s/he wants you to adore and praise her/him.

If only we could internalize the process of evolution which actually created who we are, life would be simplier. The upper brain of wo/man is the only thing that differentiates us from other animals. And that came about by the process of gene mutations and natural selections for human interactions. And human interaction is the core of either our miseries or nirvana in the here and now. When you are wailing in an apoplectic fit for something as useless as religion, you are actually damaging your body with outpouring of cortisol into your blood stream causing suppressed immune system and burdensome psychological changes.

 All that matters in this world is survival and procreation. Everything that is done, whatever the adornment attached to it, is ultimately about the two. Unfortunately, our mind which is a function of our brain, which, in turn, is shaped by our mind, toys with us. Our only best bet for survival and procreation is when the troika of Mind, Brain and Relationship is in sync. A distortion, disruption or damage in any creates potentials for chaos. For no fault of our own, in one way or another, we all come short, and that has been the struggle since time immemorial.

Those who understand the principles of the troika have built communities that have been the envies of others. When they forget they atrophy and join the losers.

2012 DNC Michelle Obama Speech

2012 DNC Obama speech